So I made myself a promise earlier today as I was sleeping the day away. I'm not going to smoke or drink at all during the coming fall semester. I understand that there's no proof that drugs or alcohol effect studying or sleeping habits, or loss of motivation, but I don't care. It's worth a shot, and I've been without mind-altering substances for 19 years of my life, so I think I can go a few months. "Everything in moderation" is a good way of looking at things, but I don't have the confidence to support such a claim. I want my mind to be clear. I want to get straight A's. Hell, it's possible, if not probable. I understand that as well, but eliminating these things from my life can do nothing but help me. That's how I truly feel. So beginning the first day of class, I will stop consuming alcohol and smoking until my last final exam is over.
I guess that's all I really wanted to say. Just wanted this written somewhere so that I can reference it if I somehow find myself in a weakened state, susceptible to influence and peer pressure. I have no doubt it will surround me, but I just. don't. care. School is coming #1 this fall, and I have to prove to myself and others that I can handle this whole college thing.
I'm kind of hungry. Going to grab a quick bite to eat before it's off to bed. (Gotta barricade myself in my room before Mom finds out I've been up all night again. *snickers*)
Two memorable dreams in two nights. Probably a record. I always promised myself I would record my dreams as not to forget them. But these two seem to have stuck out persistently and refuse to escape my short-term memory.
The first, which occurred two nights ago involved my friend Lindsey. The setting was reminiscent to that of the bar I had just recently gone to with my friends for Nickel Beer Night. That night, Lindsey had come up to me as we were leaving telling me that she was also going home, and that she would have to ride with her friends if I was unable to take her home myself. This fact had previously seemed apparent to me, seeing as how I was with my own friends, celebrating my friend's 22nd birthday. The fact that she asked anyway stuck in my mind. Why did she ask? Why did she want me to take her home? (I have plenty of arbitrary, potentially relevant questions regarding Lindsey)
Anyway, that piece of information is what I believe triggered the dream sequence. Now on to the actual dream itself. It was Lindsey and another girl both asking me to come over to their houses later. After some mental debate I chose to go see Lindsey, but when I got to the location where she had told me to go, the other girl was there. I was disappointed. Confused. And then the whole perspective changed and I saw the remainder of the dream from a third-person perspective. I saw Lindsey laying in a drive way, cursing under her breath. I can't remember exactly what she was saying, but the thoughts conveyed to me were that of regret and guilt, as though she regretted giving me false information as to her whereabouts. I could expand on my thoughts of this dream, but I'll leave that for another post.
The second dream involved by friend Paul. He had apparently decided to join the Navy, and I'm pretty sure I was having trouble coping. It was sudden. One day he was just... gone, and I didn't know what to do. I went to my friend Brian's place to hang out, but it felt different. I felt like I was trying waaaay to hard to be better friends with him.
Well, the second one was a little fuzzy anyway. Besides, I'm tired of typing. time to try out some SNES Emulator action here at work. I'm Earthbound. (pun intended)
